Spring Break Checklist

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–oh, sorry. I was just cheering. For what? My motherfuckin’ kickass SPRING BREAK! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!HHHHH!!!HHHHHHhhhh.

I don’t know about you bros but mine has been so. Fucking. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I’m sorry dude. No, but really. Man, the stuff I’ve… Haha! Last night there was this… Aw forget it, man. You just had to be there. I’m still laughing about it. I don’t even remember what happened.

Here’s a little checklist I threw together to find out if your break’s been half as kickass as mine. Press control+p to print it out (Haha, you’re breaking near a printer, bitch!)!

• Go out.
• Have a beer.
• Get shitfaced.
• Hook up with chicks.
• Do shots.

• Keep trying to hook up with someone.
• Pee on the street.
• Black out. Assume the night was crazy!
• Go home.
• Eat dinner with the parents.
• Mumble in response to questions.
• Read two pages of your assigned reading.
• Watch TV for the first time since Winter break.
• Text old friends, wait for reply.
• Realize they’re not on break anymore/yet.
• Go to sleep before midnight.
• Wake up at noon anyway.
• Cruise past your old high school wearing sunglasses and blasting music.
• Cruise past it again because maybe they didn’t notice you.
• Get a haircut from the only place you’ve ever had one.
• Eat a lot, just because.
• Flip through old comics.
• Go back to school.
• Shit, I forgot to read Don Quixote.