White Snow

Isn’t it a good thing God made snow white? It looks like the sweetest whipped cream, it’s like a marshmallow hat for the world. Just imagine how bad things would be if the color of snow was:

• Red - “Could this be the time Slayer is proven right? …Nope, it’s just snowing blood.”
• Orange - “AHHHH WE’RE BOILING ALIVE! THE HEAT IS EXCRU–oh wait, it’s just snow. Get back in the pool, guys.”
• Yellow - “Aw great, who peed in all of the snow?! That’s disgusting.”
• Green - “Days like this you just gotta wonder how Al Gore feels. ‘It’s too hot, we’re not being green enough,’ okay Al. It’s snowing and it’s green.”
• Blue - “The sky! It’s decaying! The dead flakes of sky are piling up on the ground! Hey, you can ski in this stuff.”
• Purple - “Ooh! Does it taste good? Nope, flavorless.”
• Brown - “God needs to stop shitting where he eats. Also, not near his snowmaker.”
• Black - “Why isn’t the snow white? This is so fucked up.”